Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Trying to get our family a bit more organized. Trying to plan our meals, get our chores under control and so much more. Looking at what we have and what we need, seems a bit stressful. I did find a few organizational charts. I found some savings websites, some organizing websites and so forth. Give me a bit and I might show you what I did for us. Give me a bit. I promise, we will have some positive "mommy" bonus points. :) Give me a bit!

Monday, November 26, 2012

Holiday's business

Things have been busy around the house! Thanksgiving was such a blur! We had a little family dinner the Tuesday before, so we could enjoy a family meal at home. The boys left to head to their dad's on Wednesday. I spent Wednesday cleaning the house and decorating for the Holiday's while the Princess was napping. She woke up in such awe and amazement. I don't think I'll ever forget the look of pure magic and joy on her face when she walked down the stairs and saw all the lights. She stopped dead on the stairs just to stare at the lights and garland over the window of the stairs, and then she saw more lights in the living room and so forth. So I was pretty excited to see how the boys would react to it.

Thanksgiving day, Kaitlyn and I first watched the parade in the morning. We then went to Mom's and had Lasagna with my parents and Ron. It was a relaxing dinner. We sat waiting to get the call that the boys were in the area and I could go get them. Ptolemy was a bit more hesitant about coming home, but once I told him we had a surprise at home, he changed totally. JD just was happy to come home.

We had our big family dinner at my parents. She put an extra table out for the kids. It's so different from when I was little I always thought it would be cool to have a big dinner. Here it was. The four grand kids got a table to play at. Mom printed off Thanksgiving place mats for them to color. After dinner, Kimberlee and the kids made ornaments. Dinner was good, as usual!!

Did Thanksgiving seem not as special or important because the boys weren't here. Well yes and no. Yes in only the way that Thanksgiving Day didn't seem like the real day, even though Princess and I watched the parade. But no because we got to spread out the festivities. We enjoyed our family dinner, then had a huge dinner. They got to leave and come home to the house all decked out for them. They loved seeing that.

We went and got our Tree yesterday. They all got to sit with Santa and tell him what they would like for Christmas/Yule. They also got to see the Reindeer and then help find our perfect tree. Now it's home and up in the living room. Tomorrow will be the fun day. We went in search of the lights, but I couldn't find any. So I'll pick some up while JD is at school, so we can decorate the tree as a family! It truly is a gorgeous tree, even came with a birds nest. Can't wait to watch the boys put all the ornaments on it. Truly a precious moment in this house!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Little nature lovers

My babies truly love nature. All three have sat at the window to watch what animals we get. They love going out into the woods, and to learn about animals. So when Ptolemy asked to get a bird feeder during one of our Mommy/Tati trips, I was only more then willing to do it! We picked up a few of the cheaper ones, as I wasn't sure what we would get, and some feed. When we got home, all three kids got to sit at the table and fill their own feeders. This in and of itself was such a joy to them! I hung the feeders for Ptolemy and Kaitlyn, and JD got to help hang his own! We also put out some old bread for the squirrels. Less then a few minutes after they went up, we had our first visitors.

We had some Junco's, Tuffed Titmouse, and chickadees. Of course the squirrels weren't far behind. We've also had some cardinals, blue jays, starlings and so many others. The squirrels finally succeeded in taking down 3 out of 4 feeders. We're in the process of replacing, but the kids love it!

Kaitlyn sits at the window with her little nature book. The boys come over and pick out birds with Kaitlyn. We enjoy morning time around the windows to see what we can see. I'm sure when the snow really starts to fly, we'll be finding more and more visitors.

I love that they enjoy doing this, and I love that they want to learn and do this. My babies are so amazing!!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Hike in the woods

Took the babies to the local park for a walk around the trails. We had a great time collecting pine cones, fallen pine branches, and other "winter" type things. We started talking about what it means for winter to be coming for the trees and other things in nature. We saw some squirrels searching for nuts, and JD asked what he was doing. So I was able to explain that he is gathering his food, like we do in our cupboards, so that he has food for the winter when the snow is on the ground. This lead to a full blown move from that topic to all about how he can't wait to go sledding. Love how the 3 year old mind works. Such innocent thoughts and happy just to be out and about.

JD got to 'walk' Amber and was so proud of himself. Thought he was the big boy, and oh so cute! Funny part was that she let him walk him so well, since she won't let me hold her leash. For me she lays down and won't move, for him she walked with her tail wagging the whole time. The dogs love that little boy!

So we walked around the trails, and then the kids were able to run around the upper part of the park. We checked on the Coi fish that have been there since we started going in the spring. We found they were still there, but under the ice. The kids found the fact they could swim under the ice really cool. We had a great day, even if it was cold! I love spending time with my babies! Being outside is that much better! We can't wait to enjoy more outdoor fun come winter!

Thursday, November 1, 2012


One of my favorite times of the year has come and gone already! I honestly feel that this last year has flown by! I can't believe we're into November already! Black Friday ads have started to show up, and for the first time ever, I'm looking at them and considering what I can do to get out and get some of these goodies for the kids!

But Halloween was a good time. As usual, I decorated early. But found a lot of my stuff missing, but it's ok. I did what I could with what I had. Maybe I can go find some of the stuff all on sale now for next year. I always want to do more. :)

This year I let the boys decide what they wanted to be, and I had a Spiderman and a Captain America! *sigh* I miss the cute little costumes, and I can only hope that next year we can be something cool again!! My princess was a little pink monster wearing her older cousin's dance tutu! :)

We went to Mom's on Sunday to do Trick-or-Treat with her. They had an opening thing at the church with donuts and cider, and then did a Halloween parade with the kids. They did judging for 0-4, 6-8 and 8+. I have to say I wasn't expecting anything out of it. There were so many kids in the 0-4 year range, at least about 30-40. However, my little Princess took the Cutest award! :) I mean, I know she's cute, but I'm her mom! I've looked back at some pictures of her as a baby and have been like; "Wow, what I thinking that was cute!" haha. But she did wave at everyone and "Rawr" for that is always cute! The boys enjoyed meeting their "twin" costume buddies!

We walked around town and got a pretty good haul of candy! Then we headed back to Gaga and Papa's and had dinner with them and Uncle Ron and Kimberlee. They all loved that part! And heck, you can't beat Lasagna either, especially when Gaga makes it!

Then JD had a Halloween party at school on Tuesday. They have been gearing up all month for it. They did a day at the Pumpkin Patch (to learn about how pumpkins grow), Pretend Ghost day, Nice Witch Day, a day to make decorations, and a day to carve a pumpkin as a class! He's been having so much fun. On 'Nice Witch Day' I of course volunteered to do snack that day, and he brought Witch's Hats that I made. The kids enjoyed them, and the other mom's thought they were cute. He does seem to have a good class, and he LOVES going! I'm so glad I did decide to send him. And he's learning a bit too. But one thing I have to figure out, why is it that my son has to learn things on such a high level. Haha. They are not pumpkins you know, they are "Jack-o-Lanterns"... *shake head* But cute none the less!

But as we were discussing, he had his Halloween party, and of his 8 kid class, there were 4-5 other Spiderman costumes. So at least it's just not mine that can't be creative, but at the same time, I wish he didn't have to be like everyone else!

Then that gets us to Halloween night. With Hurricane Sandy hitting the area early in the week, I worried they would have to miss it all. But she didn't hit us as hard as others! (And my thoughts and prayers do go to those along the Coast, in NYC and NJ that did get hit and have lost so much!!) But here we had a little wind and the kids we able to head out. JD tripped and seemed have sprained his ankle right before we headed out, so he ended up sitting out going door to door. He chose to just sit and rest his foot instead of going up to people for more candy. Poor little man!! But Kaitlyn and Ptolemy got to go up to people, and were having a great time. But as I was walking around in the dark, I could see why so many people do end up going to Tribes Hill to hit their T-or-T during the day time. Even with the kids having glow sticks on them and glow bracelets, I still worried I would lose one!! Good thing for the wagon! But we hit houses for a good hour and a half, and only went to the 3-4 blocks right around our house, and the kids got so much loot! One house was even giving out 8 packs of Oreo's!

But as usual, these 3 are my inseparable threesome.. and I love it! They give me something to always look forward to and feel blessed about!

When we got home about 8pm, we did a late dinner and the kids headed up to bed. I did some of my night time meditations and spent time thinking and honoring my loved ones that have passed. And that leaves us here.. November. The Pagan New Year!! Time to let the past remain in the past and be excited about the future. And only 2 more months left to the year! Where has the time gone!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Fall Fun

I took my babies to the zoo and we had a chance to just sit and play in the leaves. Just a wonderful time of the year. I can feel so much energy in it. With Halloween and the seasons change, just a great time. Honey was able to make it with us while home, and it made it that much more special for everyone! The zoo had some new changes as well, with the introduction of new cubs and a new Sea Lion pup. And of course, stopping to take a look at the seasonal changes at the barn! So much beauty out there! Love love love this time of year!!

Here are loads of photos! :)

Saturday, October 20, 2012

posting photos of my kids

Not a good post tonight. Actually a bit agitated and angry. I'm trying to be nice, but I don't know how far this will go.

I honestly do not care who my ex sees. We are ex's for a reason. I have my love and my future. He can see who he so chooses.

What I can't tolerate is some girl he just met on some dating website meeting my kids and then posting photos of them online!! THAT.. that I can not take!! I don't know her, she doesn't know my kids...and who is to say she doesn't have some pedophile who likes little boys on her page. NO THANK YOU!! Keep photos of MY BOYS off your page. If not, Mama Bear and her claws will come out... and I'm at my point. Hell.. I have told friends not to post photos of my kid's online for that specific reason! And I have reported photos of my kids for that reason on other pages! They are MY kids... they are not their's to share! Bad enough my ex has photos of my kids posted that I can not see. I am scared to know that they are them in bathing suites or such! Too many nut cases out there that enjoy little kids! And so easy to find photos. I keep photos of my babies limited now due to that!!

But anyway...

The boys didn't come in contact with Bryan as a permanent part until it was sure he was just that. Now that we're getting married, he will be around the boys for the rest of their lives! I'm not OK with some girl that may disappear in another month being thrust upon my boys on their VERY LIMITED time with their father. The guy that can barely call the boys! But OK with what limited time he has, to bring some girl he just met to be a part. Why not take time to get to know your kids! Do you know what your son's favorite food is? How about what scares them? Oh, that's right, it's easier to just blame me and say you didn't ask for it! You might not have...but you also haven't taken a single ounce of care to try and be a part of their lives since!! Just doing what your parents think you should. Other wise he would make sure they were not even a part. He already told me he regretted them because they reminded him of me. I don't regret them, even if they were a part of him! He wasn't a good spouse, but I don't blame my boys! Those 2 are my heart and soul... and with their sister.. my world!! Regardless of who their daddy's are... I hate being away from them for a second! And I'm protective.. VERY PROTECTIVE! And unless I know you, don't act like you know my kids!

Even when we were together... he couldn't clean up after them. He locked JD in the pack n play.. while Ptolemy was just a couple months old, so couldn't move! While what.. he played video games. He didn't try picking up or helping... didn't have a job so that wasn't an excuse. Nope. NO excuse.. but I'm the bad guy. But whatever... that's beside the point. Also what negatives happened between us that other's don't know... but I'm the bad guy. Fine! Whatever... but keep my babies out of it! I'll take being the bad guy, if it means they are protected! They do not get some f*&K buddy posting photos of them!!

And with that... Since learning of this... I have worked hard on teaching the boys the importance of good and bad touch. The importance of when someone you don't know comes close and so much else. And JD is quickly learning how to call mommy! I don't know her, I don't know who she knows.. and come hell and high water, I don't trust ANYONE with my boys. And a man that is more concerned with impressing his new girl, will NOT be using my kids as some ploy to look like a good mate. The man who hasn't been around, has very rarely paid for them, and even less has bothered to contact them. Yea. Great father figure there. The Step-father calls from deployments and skypes with them at all hours! Why.. he shows a sign of actually caring!! But 'he's' the bad guy! Screw that! My mood.. very very very annoyed right now! And this mommy's protective claws have come out in super form! And if it continues.. I won't be so nice!

With that.. I sing off. I'm seeing red! Some might thing it's not such a big deal. But I do. This is my kids..who I work hard to protect and I am the one they depend on when things go wrong. When they hurt, they call me. When they fear monsters, they call me in the night! How am I suppose to protect them from the monsters that may occur when they are not with me, when the other person that is *suppose* to protect them... seems to be failing! Their own step dad sees the issue with this, but father.. he could care less. it's his girlfriend!!!!!?????!!!!!


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Missing my men...

It's hard when the boys go away to visit with their dad. As much as I could use the occasional break; I really don't like not knowing what they are up to, what they are eating, and just all the little points of their day. I'm trying to be not so batty when they are gone. But I go to their room and see empty beds. Even with Kaitlyn home, the house is just too eerily quiet. My middle of the night routine gets thrown off, when I walk into their rooms to do another tuck and a kiss while they are sleeping. Just everything seems... un-natural! I know other separated mom's go through the same thing, but it's so difficult. When does it get easier?? Ever?

I did get some work done, and finished off 2 papers I needed to get out of the way. Kaitlyn and I also got some cuddle time in. But even she notices. She gets out of her crib and the first place she goes is into JD's rooming calling his name. She moves on to Ptolemy's..and heads downstairs. When she finds out they aren't here, I can expect one of two responses. She either looks at me and says all gone and sits down to quietly play by herself and look really sad and lonely, or she has a complete breakdown and cries for a good amount of time, and then this is followed by sadly playing.

So the house is just not the same without them! I miss the random "what you doing mommy" and the "I want juice"... as much as they can annoy me. But when I don't hear them, that is worse!

Tonight's phone conversation with JD entailed.. "How you doing? I'm ok... see you soon, and here's X, Y or Z." Not sure he's ready to come home yet, but I know this Mommy is. But it is hard to compete with the place you go to visit.. when there are no real "rules" and it seems like it is always playtime. They don't see him for as long as I do, so it's 'go, go, go' and 'play, play, play'...while mommy has some rules and bed times. We don't always get to go all over or get whatever we want. Maybe some day he'll get to understand that... I can home... but for now. Mommy's the bad guy that makes him be a good boy, and Daddy... well he let's him watch super hero movies and play in the basement. Some how I can't matter how many times I run to his side when he has a nightmare or is sick, how many boo boo's I kiss, or how much I love them more then any amount of words could possibly explain... I'm just not as good... and frankly, it hurts!