Monday, January 23, 2012

moving on

Working on finalizing some things that are being picked up today that were part of my past. Just looking to the future from here on out. No more thinking or focusing on the past, it is what it is. I have positives to take from it, such as my 2 handsome little boys and my beautiful little princess. I'm able to take what I have learned and move forward. Protect myself and my kids first and foremost! So as I get the rest of the items out the curb for their pick up, and look to getting replacements for the important stuff (such as a dining room set...really, who takes that away from kids..but it's ok, I needed a new better one!) I can finally say that this place is all mine. I've been paying my own bills and this house IS mine. Everything in it is.. and I can leave that to my children. They don't need the cheap hand-me downs that in all honesty I never cared for. It all never went together, but I was accepting b/c of the person I thought I loved and loved me. But now I can get a new table set to match the gorgeous hardwood of my dining room floors, wall and a better tv to go on my fireplace! Moving on... moving up ... moving forward.... the best idea for all!

Just because

I had to have a laugh this morning...

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Long weekend

I really hate when my babies are away. I feel so lost and empty. Yes, I have my Princess here. But my boys are such an important part of my day, I feel like everything is just... there. I find myself going to do our routine stuff, only to find that I am doing it alone. How sad it is to make a lunch for 3, only to find that there is 1... and then you are no longer hungry when you realize that! I find myself in their rooms at 1am, sitting on their beds and sleeping with their lovies. Will this ever get any easier, or am I going to do this every time they have their weekends away. Some tell me I should be happy and enjoying my weekends and to do what I want. What I find myself doing is going grocery shopping since it is a touch easier without them, and then doing a full thorough scrub of their rooms, moving beds and rearranging books and toys... only to know they will be all over again once they return.

Then there are sights like this, that just send me into tears. Little things just left behind and forgotten in order to go. And I sit and wonder if I am as forgotten as this toy has been when they go. I know it is crazy to think. I know my boys love me, and tomorrow I'll get the big hugs and kisses I have missed all weekend.

Maybe these weekends will be easier when Kaitlyn gets older. We'll make these weekends more of a girls weekend. Go get our hair did and and our nails done, and who knows what else. I did have some projects to get done. a dino blanket I'm sewing for JD for his birthday. (Still can not believe he is going to be 3!!) But Kaitlyn finally fell asleep, and she has been sick for so long, I'd rather let her sleep. So hopefully this week I can get some sewing done, and pull out my serger and play with that for the first time. Need to get a dress made for her for her father's return home ceremony. Had a cute cloth diaper made with camo and ruffles, so I want to make a sundress with camo. But I'm thinking the dress will be in the pink camo, don't want her to blend in too much with daddy in his uniform. :)

But for now, the Princess is asleep. My baby boys will be coming home early in the morning, so I'm going to sit back with "I shall wear midnight" by Terry Pratchett and enjoy a little quiet... if the puppy will stop eating everything in the house!

Friday, January 13, 2012

knock knock

Hello Stalker... I see you!! I thought divorcing you would mean you and your family would get the hell out of my life! Do so, before I get legal involved!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

patience is thinning

Just stressed and annoyed!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Long day

Just another long day. Kaitlyn had a rough night last night, and I was up with her till about 6, when Bryan took over. I got to sleep till about 8, and then the boys were up. We had breakfast and the boys went and played in JD's room for a bit. I just can't believe my babies are old enough to just go off and play. They told me they wanted to play in JD's room and mommy wasn't needed. :( Not that they didn't call to me regularly. :) So I took all the ornaments off the tree, and now it's waiting for me to drag it out to the curb. Bryan told me to wait till he returns from drill, but it's dropping all it's needles, so I want it out. Then I had to do my bi-weekly hard thing to do, and took the babies to meet up with their dad. It's such a hard thing to do, but it's a good thing too. Since Bryan had drill this weekend and won't be home, it is giving Kaitlyn and I time to bond more. But I hate not being able to kiss them goodnight, and that I can't go into their room in the middle of the night to kiss their heads, cover them up and listen to them breath. It's what makes me sleep just a bit easier.

I need to work on some craft projects too. I have a shower tomorrow to go to, and wanted to sew some for it. But Kaitlyn had a rough day and when she finally fell asleep and I could leave her side, I didn't want to wake her. So maybe in the morning I'll get some of the burp cloths done for the shower gift. And then tomorrow afternoon I can clean the house and play with my new serger. I'm really excited to play with it and learn how to use it. :)

But now, the house is too quiet. Kaitlyn is sleeping in the rocker, and I'm sitting on the couch with Peanut and Butch. And for now, I'm going to try and sleep.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

New Year... new me

Life got ahead of me and I lost time to actually catch up with myself, but that is all going to change. It is time for me to get back to things that are important. Keeping track and records on my kids, working on my spirituality and moving on to my happiness!!

JD is growing leaps and bounds since I started this and have lost track. He's going to be 3 in a month! THREE!! He has his good and bad moments. The "terrible two's" hit that boy hard. He went from my cute, adorable and listening little boy to the devil. *shakes head* He stopped listening, talking back..and his new favorite thing is say no, and to go away. Been working hard to get him to listen again, potty trained and ready to start ... preschool!! I can't believe my little boy is already ready to start that!

Ptolemy...he is growing sooooo quick on me! He's 18 months and running all over. He's working on talking, but he isn't as into speaking as much. I just can't believe how much he has grown up in just the last 6 months!! He was just crawling at his 1 year birthday, now he is running all over the place, jumping off things, climbing on stuff. I'm getting ready to convert him to a big boy bed, and I'm so sad about it. He just is too cute. But boy is he a little flirt. He loves the little blonde haired girls!! At playgroup he is always playing with the other little girls, and reading to them. That is the other thing, he is such a little book worm. I LOVE that reading is so important to him!

Then there is the newest addition. Kaitlyn Jade was born on 7/11/2011 at 8:30am. She is a little doll, and such a ham!! She already is doing big things. Sitting up on her own, says "dada" and stacking things. She rolls over, and has started to try and get her knees under her to crawl. I'm not ready for that. 3 of them on the move might be the death of me, but I love watching her learn everything. And she LOVES her daddy so much!!

As for me. I'm happy. Bryan and I are in a good relationship and he seems to truly respect me. Sam and I are understanding towards each other and we both know that "we" are just not right. But that is about what I want to say on that right now. Off to pull the blueberry scones from the oven, the laundry out of the dryer to fold and roll over the wash, and then finish sewing a few items for a baby shower. Never a dull moment here in my little piece of paradise!